Chapter 1: Rooftop Prayers and Wedding Gowns

On our wedding day, my wife stood on the rooftop, dressed in pure white.

From up here, I see yellow danfo buses crawling like ants, hear hawkers dey shout gala, and smell roasted corn from street below. The Lagos sky far away dey burn with orange harmattan haze, carrying sound of distant danfo horn. But for this rooftop, she stand like lonely angel wey dey wait for rain wey no go ever fall. Even the breeze respect her pain, swirling her dress for her ankle like e dey try console her.

She dey cry, then she bite her lip, voice almost break, “If I die… you think say those wey hurt me go feel any guilt?”

Her voice soft like she dey beg the wind, e tremble for the small space between us. Her face, washed with tears, look older than her real age. She hold her hands together like prayer, dey search my eyes for something only God fit give.

I answer am, “Dem no go feel guilty, but I swear, I go make dem pay. All of dem go follow you enter ground. If you still love me, if you no wan make me do bad thing, abeg, no jump—make you let me take care of you for the rest of your life.”

I step forward, my voice low, my hands dey tremble but I still stretch dem towards her. Her chest stuck like eba when water finish—she no fit move. I swear on my papa grave, my eyes red with fear. "No be only you dey carry this pain. Make you give me the chance to fight for you, abeg. If I lose you, wetin remain for me?"

She wipe her tears, force small smile. "I'm sorry, but I no fit hold on again. Every day wey I dey alive, na so I dey wish say make I die."

Her hands dey tremble as she dey talk, grip on the rooftop rail tight, knuckles white like bitter kola. She shake her head, small smile like person wey dey surrender for chess game. "I don try. I swear I don try, but e too much for me."

I look her, my chest heavy with pain.

The ache inside me be like heavy pounding of bata drum during burial. I bite my lip, taste blood, dey try keep my own tears from falling. I dey wish say I fit carry her pain, even if na just one day.

I love her.

My love dey deep like Ogun River during rainy season. As I dey look am, I dey remember every night wey we gist for generator sound, every time she laugh or squeeze my hand tight inside bus. My heart dey bleed.

But if she jumps, I go understand.

I close my eyes, dey beg God make she no jump. But if na her only escape, who I be to hold am back? My prayer na make she find peace, even if e no dey with me again.

That day, I follow my wife go try wedding gowns. The first one wey she wear fine die—my heart just dey beat anyhow as I dey look her. If not for say people full the shop, I for carry her up and kiss her that moment.

The fabric glisten for her body, the train spread like river sand behind her. Her smile shy, but her eyes dey shine, like say she dey dream small dream inside this hot, crowded shop for Yaba.

She ask me, shy-shy, whether she fine.

She twist her fingers, look ground, voice soft like she dey fear make I laugh her. She tilt small, like say she dey hide face, but she wan hear my mind.

One small pikin wey adults bring come, overhear and shout, "Wow, so ugly!"

Everybody for shop turn look the pikin. One old woman hiss, whisper, "Children of nowadays no get home training." But nobody talk to the pikin mama.

My wife vex. I quickly tell her say she fine pass queen, make she no mind the small pikin talk.

I brush her cheek softly, whisper for her ear, "See as you fine, even sun dey jealous. Na only jealous spirit go talk nonsense. No mind them, my queen."

Na then she smile, talk say, "So why you never run go buy zobo for your queen? This wedding dress dey hot o."

She pinch me playfully, her eyes bright again. "Na only zobo go cool this kind tension. Make e cold well, abeg." The way she talk am, e sweet me for body.

I just dey smile like mumu, run go buy zobo for her from Mama Kemi kiosk outside.

For my mind, I dey plan say after wedding, I go always buy zobo for her, no matter how tired I dey. E be like small promise I make to myself as I cross busy road.

But na because I comot, her life scatter finish.

The heat inside Yaba shop dey choke, sweat dey soak everybody cloth, generator no gree start.

As I step outside, my mind dey dance. I no know say wahala don dey brew inside.

As I come back with the zobo, I see people gather for the entrance of the wedding shop, everybody dey record with their phone.

For Naija, once person shout, "See am o!", crowd go gather sharp. I see girls dey raise phone, boys dey push each other, some dey laugh, others dey gossip.

Confused, I push enter the crowd, come see my wife, hair rough, lying for ground.

Na so my heart jump enter mouth. I see her wedding dress for floor, her face swollen, and her eyes dey beg for help. My legs weak, but I push forward.

The woman wey I dey treat like queen, another woman dey press am for ground.

This woman big, her wrapper shift, face like thunder. She dey use her elbow hold my wife down, spit dey fly from her mouth as she dey shout.

That same small pikin stand near her, raise hand, slap her.

The slap sound like thunder clap. Some people laugh, some dey shout, "Wetin dey happen?" but nobody move to stop am.

One girl dey shout, “Tag me for TikTok o!” while another dey laugh, “Na trending gist be this!”

As he slap my wife, the woman even praise am, "Good boy, hit her back!"

She clap for the pikin, voice sharp like market woman. "You sabi defend your mama, I like you!"

My wife no even fit defend herself. She just dey cover her chest with two hands, dey cry, "Abeg, no record me, please no record me..."

Her voice low, almost like whisper. Tears and sweat dey mix for her face. Some girls dey giggle, dey do like say na Instagram live. I see one woman dey adjust her gele, dey shake head.

But people just dey look, dey record her like say na Nollywood skit.

Even salesgirls, people wey I dey expect to help, just dey stand dey look, dey tap each other, "See drama!" Nobody fit help am. For my mind, I dey vex for the world.

I no fit hold myself, I grab one phone from person hand, smash am, then rush go meet my wife, push the woman commot, hold my wife tight.

My hand dey shake. People dey shout, "Ah, why you break phone!" but I no send. I fit hear my own blood dey rush for ear, my only focus na my wife. I carry her, whisper for her ear, "I dey here. Nobody go touch you again."

She dey shake inside my hand, hold my cloth tight, dey cry like say her life wan finish.

She grip my shirt like say if she leave, she go drown. Her tears soak my neck, her breath dey hot, chest dey rise and fall quick. I hear her whisper, "I wan go home...abeg...just carry me go."

As I see am like that, my heart just cut.

My mind scatter. I dey curse myself for ever comot. I dey wish say I fit rewind time, stop every pain wey she see.

I quickly pull my own shirt, cover her, dey ask wetin happen, but she just dey shake, dey cry, no fit talk, dey hold my shirt like say na life rope.

Her lips dey move, but words no dey come. The fear don enter bone. I rub her back, dey whisper prayer for her head, dey promise say I no go ever let anybody touch her again.

Na the wedding shop saleswoman explain wetin happen.

The woman drag me aside, her eyes full of pity. She lower her voice, "Oga, na serious wahala o. I no even fit stop them. Everybody just dey craze."

After I comot, my wife remove the wedding gown to try another one.

The AC no work, so my wife dey sweat, dey rush try change. She carry new gown, wan fit am before I return.

That small pikin aunty too dey try wedding dress. The aunty dey do makeup, the mama dey gist, nobody dey watch the pikin, so the pikin just dey waka anyhow for shop.

The aunty dey use powder, dey snap selfie, the mama dey browse for phone. The pikin waka round, dey touch mannequin head, dey play with veil.

Na so the small devil pull my wife changing curtain open.

The curtain tear small for bottom, so e easy for pikin hand. As e pull am, the whole place just freeze for one second, then everywhere burst with noise.

Many wedding dress shops dey put changing place for main hall so light go bright. As he pull curtain, everybody see my wife as she dey change.

Women dey gasp, some dey cover their mouth, others dey shout, "Hey God!" My wife just freeze, shock for face, hand dey shake as she try cover herself.

Shame catch her, vex join, she slap the pikin.

Na reflex. I sabi my wife, she no be person wey dey beat pikin, but as that shame enter her body, na so her hand waka.

The pikin aunty vex, start to shout say my wife no get shame, how she go beat pikin. She rush go press my wife for ground, tell the pikin make e no fear, make e hit back well.

Her voice loud, dem hear am for outside. "You slap my nephew? You dey craze? Small pikin, abeg show her pepper!"

She wicked well-well. She even tear my wife cloth so my wife no fit fight back, use shame do her strong thing.

People dey beg her, "Madam, abeg, e don do." But she no hear, she dey show power. Na so my wife own dignity scatter for market square.