Chapter 6: The Price of Endurance

After that, Nathaniel stopped coming to Willow Court. At first, he slept in his study, and I refused to give in.

The days blurred together, each one colder than the last. I kept to myself, refusing to give in, even as the loneliness threatened to swallow me whole.

On the seventh day, Nathaniel's personal assistant came by to pick up his city hall badge.

The request was simple, but the meaning was clear. Nathaniel had made his choice, and I was expected to accept it.

Sending the badge to Willow Lane meant Nathaniel wouldn't be coming home after work.

It was a quiet, public declaration. The staff whispered behind closed doors, their eyes full of pity.

As his wife, I knew this was Nathaniel offering me a way out. As long as I softened, he would come home tonight.

The power was in my hands. But it felt like a trap. I wondered if I was strong enough to walk away.

Such a simple act, Lila. I stared at the badge, the weight of the decision pressing on me.

The words echoed in my mind, mocking. I dug my nails into my palm, desperate to feel something real.

My nails dug into my flesh. All I had to do was gently ask Nathaniel to come get it himself, and that would be that.

But why couldn't I say it?

My throat was blocked by bitterness. If I gave in now, for the rest of my life I would have to endure this pain, living with my eyes open but refusing to see.

Everyone at Willow Court was silent. After a while, I lowered my eyes. "Mariah, take it to him."

Mariah hesitated, her eyes full of worry. But she did as I asked. I watched her go, feeling both relieved and terrified.

The assistant looked like he wanted to say something, but just nodded and left.

He glanced back at me, sympathy in his eyes. I looked away, unwilling to accept his pity.

Mariah was anxious. "Miss! You're confused! You're just handing Nathaniel over to that little tramp."

Her words were harsh, but I knew she meant well. I shook my head, unwilling to explain myself.

I ignored her. After dinner, my mother-in-law invited me to her room.

Her room was warm, filled with family photos and the scent of lavender. She patted the seat beside her, her eyes kind but firm.

"You're so clever, how can you be so foolish about this!" She held my hand. "A mistress can't compare to the bond between husband and wife. Why be upset over this?"

Her words were meant to comfort. But they only made me feel more alone. I wondered if she had ever felt this kind of pain.

I said nothing.

The silence stretched between us, heavy and unyielding.

"How did your mother raise you, Lila-belle?" she earnestly advised, "It's just how men are sometimes, having their flings. You're his wife. No matter how much he favors that girl, she can't surpass you."

Her voice was gentle, but I heard the resignation beneath it. I wondered if all women in Maple Heights were taught to endure, to settle for less.

I suddenly burst into tears.

The tears came fast and hot, and she pulled me into her arms, murmuring soothing words.

She hugged me. "Dear, listen to me. Once you have a child, everything will work itself out. Don't be so stubborn."

Her embrace was warm, but it couldn't fill the emptiness inside me. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

The next day, my mom sent me a letter from the Carter house, gently advising: Lila, what's done is done. You've always been wise, you know what's on the line.

Her handwriting was neat, familiar. I read the letter over and over, searching for comfort, for answers.

Mom repeated: "Don't be so stubborn."

The words stung. But I knew she meant well. I wondered if she had ever faced a choice like mine.

I closed my eyes. Nathaniel was torn, but everyone blamed me.

The injustice burned. But I swallowed it, determined not to let it break me.

Something was stuck in my throat; I could hardly breathe.

I pressed my hand to my chest, willing the ache to go away.

After a while, I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my forehead, and told Mariah, "Invite Nathaniel for dinner."

My voice was steady. But inside I was falling apart. Mariah's face lit up, and she hurried off to do as I asked.

Mariah was overjoyed. "Yes, I’ll go now."

She squeezed my hand before she left, her eyes full of hope. I tried to smile, but it felt brittle.