Chapter 2: The Engagement Scandal and My Genius Plan

Just as I was about to get the chop, a housekeeper’s panicked voice came from outside the door.

“Mr. Whitmore, someone from City Hall says the mayor’s office just announced your engagement,” the housekeeper wailed.

The housekeeper’s sobs echoed through the house.

His hand trembled, and the razor clattered to the floor.

“Who is it?” His voice was shaking. Whoa, he’s actually scared.

“It... it’s Miss Pearl,” the housekeeper sobbed.

“Ugh...” He suddenly looked like he was about to throw up. Yikes, that bad?

“???” I was baffled. What’s the big deal?

The mayor pushing an engagement—shouldn’t that be a good thing? Why are the staff wailing, and he so disgusted? Did I miss something?

Turns out, Pearl is the most notorious socialite in town.

Not only is she infamous for her looks—yikes—but her personality is even worse.

She abuses her family’s power, bullies people, kidnaps men (yes, literally—once tied up a guy and made him attend her birthday), and lives a life of wild scandal.

Seriously, she’s a walking red flag. Her crimes are too many to count.

No one dares to offend her—no one even dares to look at her. She’s that scary.

But she has zero self-awareness, and she set her sights on the most handsome man in town. Of course.

That is, the one who wants to cut me off—Nathaniel Whitmore, the eldest son of the old-money Whitmore family.

He’s a Kennedy among men, not just incredibly handsome, but also virtuous and talented, skilled in both academics and sports. Unfair.

Pearl once said:

“It doesn’t matter if I’m not pretty. As long as my husband is beautiful enough, we’ll have the best-looking children in the world.” Uh, logic?

She tried several times to propose marriage, but Nathaniel refused every time. Smart guy.

She just kept trying. Pearl went straight to City Hall to push for an official engagement announcement—if once didn’t work, she tried twice, then three times.

The mayor, after seeing so many debutantes at society galas, couldn’t stand her anymore and finally went along with it, against his better judgment.

It’s the kind of small-town political mess you read about in old Southern novels—everyone knows, but no one dares speak up.

I tried to sound concerned, but I was totally gloating. “Hey, you don’t want to marry Pearl, do you?”

“...” Nathaniel glanced at me in the mirror, forcing himself not to think about Pearl’s face. Can’t blame him.

His jaw clenched. I could almost see the calculation in his eyes, like he was plotting an escape route out of a burning building.

I offered, “I can help you, as long as you let me stay on your face for thirty days.” Worth a shot.

Nathaniel: “How can you help?” Hooked him.

Me: “Isn’t it because she likes your looks? I’ll just make you less handsome.” Genius, right?

Nathaniel’s mouth twitched at the word ‘handsome,’ but he finally said, “...Fine.”

So, I forced myself to swell up, bigger and bigger, until I was the size of a grape. Gross, but effective.

Now, at the corner of Nathaniel’s mouth, I was especially eye-catching, especially ugly—so awkward even the staff wouldn’t meet his eyes. Mission accomplished.

I even cinched in the middle—big head, tiny body. What am I, a cartoon character?

When Nathaniel walked, my big head would sway at the corner of his mouth. Talk about embarrassing.

Sometimes I’d block his mouth, looking like a giant black spider curled up there.

“Ugh—”

Pearl, eager to see her handsome fiancé, was so disgusted she actually threw up. Success.

She ran back to her mansion as if fleeing, begging the mayor to call off the engagement. Can’t blame her.

She didn’t want to kiss a man only to end up biting into such a huge, awkward birthmark. Fair point.

Rumor has it, she swore off men for a whole week after that. The town’s gossip mill had a field day.

“Hey, I saved your life. Now it’s time for you to keep your promise.” Pay up.

I shrank back to the size of a pea, lying at Nathaniel’s lips, smelling the aroma of chicken soup and fresh-baked bread.

What a shame—I can only smell it, not eat it.

Nathaniel: “Fine, you can stay, but you have to behave.” Deal.

Me: “What counts as behaving?” Define "behave."

Nathaniel: “You don’t even know what behaving means? Go look it up in the dictionary yourself.” Harsh.

Me: “...”