Chapter 3: Smoke, Tears, and Second Chances
Again? What does he mean?
Before I could ask, everything went black and I lost consciousness. It was like getting yanked out of the world, dropped into the dark.
It was as if I was in another world. In front of me was a golden cross, and I heard a voice, soft and strange.
“All things fade, only love endures.”
“Her obsession runs too deep, hurting herself and others.”
“Everything follows its own path, just let it unfold.”
“You’ll understand. Go now.”
My vision blurred. When I woke again, the leaves outside the window had turned yellow, drifting down in the autumn wind. Time had slipped past me while I slept... time just slipped away.
I pushed myself up, shocked to find my once-transparent soul now had a physical body. I stared at my hands, flexed my fingers, couldn’t believe it.
I was stunned. Was this real? I pinched myself. Was this real?
Carter was sitting by the bed. As soon as I moved, he woke up, instinctively wanting to hug me, but stopping just short. His eyes were bright. His voice was gentle, almost cautious: “How do you feel? Anything hurt? Are you hungry? I…”
Before he could finish, I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tight. For the first time in what felt like forever, I felt solid. Real.
“Carter!” I broke down, sobbing. I’d never felt so hurt, so happy. I sobbed against his chest, and he stiffened, then raised his hand to gently pat my back, soothing me: “It’s okay now, don’t be scared.”
I looked up at him. “Am I back? Is this body mine?”
Carter shook his head, looking serious: “This body isn’t yours…” Then he hurriedly added, “But don’t worry, I’ll—”
I gently covered his mouth: “It’s all right. This is already way better.”
Before, I hated anyone touching my things. Not to mention my body—even a favorite scarf would make me mad if someone borrowed it. But looking at Carter in front of me, after everything I’d just been through, I didn’t care about anything anymore. I just wanted to be with him.
My throat burned, and as soon as I tried to speak, I started crying again: “Carter, it was my fault before. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me, okay?”
“And... I really like you. I never got to say it.”
Before I could finish, he pulled me into his arms, holding me so tight I could barely breathe. But I didn’t want to let go, and hugged him right back.
“Lillian, can you say it again?” Carter’s voice was soft. Almost pleading.
“I like you, I really do.” My voice shook.
“This past year, I’ve been by your side the whole time, watching you fight, seeing things I’d never seen before, watching you get hurt, nearly die, and also. Watching you get married and spend the night with someone else.”
My voice broke. “Watching you get married and spend the night with someone else.”
Carter’s brow never relaxed. His eyes were red, and tears slid down his cheeks. He blurted out, “I’m sorry... I’m so sorry...”
I touched his face: “Why are you crying so easily now? You didn’t know. I don’t blame you.”













