I’m Not Her: Loving in Shadow / Chapter 5: The Goodbye That Hurts
I’m Not Her: Loving in Shadow

I’m Not Her: Loving in Shadow

Author: Douglas Adams


Chapter 5: The Goodbye That Hurts

← Prev

Half a month later, Chris came back to Maple Heights.

I put on my flashiest dress, hair full of jeweled pins. Remembering David’s look of horror at my style, I took a few out.

Just as I was about to head to the hospital, my crush showed up at the door.

Chris looked even more tanned, and—get this—actually wore a shirt that looked ironed. At the gate, he nodded politely. “Miss Mason, could I see Mr. Whitlock?”

What?

Could it be… they really are together?

Fuming, I stomped to the study. David, if you’re gutsy enough to steal my man, open this door!

David took his sweet time finishing paperwork, straightening his tie, and only after a good ten minutes did he let Chris in.

The two of them talked privately for half an hour while I paced outside, losing my mind.

Two guys who could kill a conversation in minutes—what could they possibly discuss for that long? Must be true love.

When the door finally opened, they came out side by side, their auras matching—even their grumpy faces were in sync.

Chris walked right past me. I tried to stop him, but David’s icy glare glued me in place.

At the gate, Chris stopped and looked back at me. Was that a soft look? Or was I just dreaming?

His voice was deep and clear. “Miss Mason, next month I’ll be heading south to work with some master physicians. Would you like to come with me?”

I—I must be dreaming. I pinched myself hard. Ow.

Fireworks exploded in my brain.

Just as the sparks faded, David coldly ordered the housekeeper, “Lock her up.”

I demanded to know when I’d be let out. He said, “When Chris leaves Maple Heights.”

I tried picking locks and sneaking out, but he had guards everywhere.

I argued with him—he just stared at me, unmoved.

I cried, threw tantrums, even threatened to run away. He took away all sharp objects and rope, totally unfazed.

I’m usually a wimp, but I decided to go for broke. Hunger strike.

David sent me all my favorite foods—mac and cheese, roast chicken, apple pie. He knew exactly how to get to me. I swear, the man’s a mind reader. My mouth watered, but I held out.

By day two, I was dizzy with hunger, counting the hours, waiting for him to give in.

He showed up with a bowl of chicken noodle soup. I hid under the covers, ignoring him.

He sat by my bed in silence for ages, then finally sighed.

“Drink the soup, then go.”

I shot up, all pretense gone, and gulped down the soup.

It was warm—I’d been craving it since he walked in. Hunger strikes are just dumb.

He looked exhausted, staring at the maple leaf on his shirt. I noticed a little burn on his finger from the soup bowl. He never complains.

I handed him the empty bowl, and he pulled out a slip of paper—my guardianship papers.

He leaned over, held it to the lamp, and burned it. The fire danced in his eyes.

The flames licked his fingers before he jerked his hand away.

“Does it hurt?”

He nodded.

My heart squeezed. David’s like a block of hardwood—never admits to pain.

Five days later, in a light drizzle, I left Maple Heights with Chris. David had prepared everything for my trip, silently holding Ben’s hand as he saw me to the gate.

I hoisted my bag. David patted Ben’s shoulder and pointed at me. The little guy shuffled over, dazed, and I hugged him tight.

I waved goodbye. David nodded, just barely.

He didn’t say a word to me that day.

I walked through the misty spring rain, side by side with Chris.

At the end of the driveway, I looked back—David stood alone, one hand holding Ben, the other braced on the gatepost.

So thin, so alone.

I couldn’t help but stop.

Chris’s eyes were deep. “Let’s go, Miss Mason.”

“You’ll come back.”

And the rain kept falling, blurring the old house behind us, as if the past was finally letting go—just a little.

This chapter is VIP-only. Activate membership to continue.
← Prev

You may also like

His Shadow Over My Heart
His Shadow Over My Heart
4.8
Autumn Reed is ready to walk away from the man she’s secretly loved for years, but her resignation sets off a chain of painful memories and unresolved longing. As she faces the emptiness of her own life and the ghosts of her past, one fateful night reveals just how deep her connection to Mason Caldwell truly runs—and what it will cost her to finally let go.
I Loved Him—But He Let Me Go
I Loved Him—But He Let Me Go
4.9
He told me to move on—so I did. Ten years of loving Autumn Sullivan ended in a single rainy night in Chicago, when Lila Sawyer finally realized she was just a backup plan for the boy she’d loved since childhood. But as she struggles to let go, a new presence—Dr. Morgan, her quietly protective tutor—steps out from the shadows, offering the kind of steadfast affection she’s never known. Now, caught between the ghost of a first love and the promise of something real, Lila must find the courage to claim her own happiness. When old wounds collide with new beginnings, can she finally leave the past behind—or will heartbreak follow her into the spring rain?
He Loved Her, Not Me
He Loved Her, Not Me
4.9
He loved her—just not me. On the night of our fourth anniversary, I watched Carter Langley slip further away, his heart claimed by another while our marriage became nothing but a headline. I was supposed to smile, play the perfect wife, and pretend not to notice the pitying looks or the silence that suffocated our home. But pain demands a witness. When betrayal cuts deeper than bone, how far will a woman go to make her absence felt? Carter’s indifference is legendary—until my final act leaves him with a haunting question and a secret he can never bury. If love is dead, what’s left for the living to regret?
I Loved Him in Every Lifetime
I Loved Him in Every Lifetime
4.8
A single act of mercy binds Lila, an ordinary fisher girl, to the world of Maple Heights’ most powerful family. Haunted by fragments of another life—and a love that left her in the shadows—she finds herself thrust into a battle of inheritance, secrets, and whispered betrayals. As the new heir ascends and old wounds resurface, Lila faces an impossible choice: reach for the love that destroyed her once before, or settle for safety in a world that never wanted her to belong. When survival means giving up her heart, will Lila finally break the cycle—or be forced to relive her heartbreak again?
I Loved His Other Self
I Loved His Other Self
5.0
Love wasn’t supposed to be this complicated. For two years, Mariah kept her relationship with Lucas hidden—Lucas, the secret self of Julian Carter, her enigmatic classmate. When Julian’s therapy threatens to erase Lucas forever, Mariah is forced to choose between healing and heartbreak. Every memory, every touch, is haunted by the knowledge that loving Lucas means losing him. As the past and present collide, Mariah faces a cruel truth: some goodbyes are final, and some loves never let go. When Julian reappears years later, a single glance brings back everything she tried to forget. Can you ever truly move on from the ghost of your first love—or are some promises, like paper flowers, made to last forever?
He Loved Me, Even After Death
He Loved Me, Even After Death
4.9
Death wasn’t the end for Emma Parker—it was just the beginning of a nightmare she couldn’t wake from. Haunted by shifting shadows, a missing cat, and neighbors who remember her life all wrong, Emma tries to rebuild after tragedy—until a ghostly wedding plunges her into a world of paper people, forbidden rituals, and a love that refuses to let go. As her grieving parents fight the living and the dead to rescue her soul, Emma must confront the truth: sometimes the scariest hauntings are the ones we carry with us. Will she break free from a love that followed her beyond the grave, or is she doomed to be a bride in the afterlife forever? When the boundary between worlds thins, who will say goodbye—and who will hold on too tight?
The Love That Wasn't Mine
The Love That Wasn't Mine
4.8
Lila, a young dance instructor, becomes entangled in the shadow of her boyfriend Ethan’s bittersweet past when she discovers his ex-wife’s Instagram, triggering a spiral of doubt and longing. As secrets and heartbreak surface, Lila must confront the reality that love’s most intense moments are not always hers to claim. In the end, she chooses self-worth and hope, while Ethan reflects on what was lost—and what might still be possible.
I Loved Her Wrong, Then Lost Her
I Loved Her Wrong, Then Lost Her
4.9
He never knew her touch was a plea for help—until it was too late. When Autumn Reed dies, Logan is left with nothing but regrets and the diary that reveals every secret she hid. Grief and guilt tear him apart, until an impossible twist: he wakes up on their wedding night, staring at the woman he lost. Now, with fate handing him a do-over, Logan must break through Autumn's icy defenses and his own haunted past, even as his ex-girlfriend returns with her own desperate promises. Can he unravel the truth behind Autumn's silent suffering before history repeats itself? Or is love doomed to slip through his fingers twice?
His Shadow, My Chains
His Shadow, My Chains
4.9
I was sold as a child, branded a servant, and spent years kneeling in the shadows of power. Now, the King—haunted, violent, and beautiful—keeps me closer than anyone, even as the Regent plots, blood runs in the halls, and the line between mercy and cruelty blurs. In a palace ruled by secrets and betrayals, every kindness comes with a threat, every touch with a price. But when the King’s past collides with mine, and our old promises resurface amid ruin, I must decide: will I survive by keeping my head down, or risk everything for the boy I once believed in? When loyalty is fatal and love forbidden, can hope survive in the house of wolves—or am I just the next pawn to be broken?
He Loved Me—Then the System Stole Me
He Loved Me—Then the System Stole Me
4.9
Love was never supposed to be this complicated—or this dangerous. When Autumn Caldwell loses everything—her face, her name, and the only brother she ever loved—she’s forced to fight her way back in a world that insists she’s replaceable. But the system controlling her fate has its own cruel rules, turning her forbidden longing into a deadly mission. As the lines blur between love and obsession, reality and performance, Autumn must risk her identity, her memories, and her soul to break free. Will she ever reclaim the life and love stolen from her, or is she doomed to be just another forgotten actress in someone else’s story? When even your own memories can be erased, how do you prove who you really are?
He Loved My Sacrifice, Not Me
He Loved My Sacrifice, Not Me
4.7
Natalie gave up everything—even her Olympic dreams—to protect Caleb, only to discover years later that he never loved her, only repaid a debt. Betrayed by the boy she trusted most and humiliated by his cruel friends, she finally reads the journal that shatters her last hope. Now, with his first love back in town, Natalie must choose: cling to the ghost of his gratitude, or walk away and reclaim her pride before she loses herself forever.
Reborn as My Sister’s Shadow
Reborn as My Sister’s Shadow
4.7
On the day our marriage finally shattered, Derek and I died in a crash—only to wake up as teenagers, forced to relive the nightmare of loving the same perfect girl: my twin, Natalie. This time, I refuse to be her stand-in, refuse to let my mother’s cruelty and Derek’s obsession crush me again. But fate is twisted—Derek remembers everything too, and Natalie’s secrets run deeper than anyone knows. If I don’t break free, I’ll be trapped in her shadow forever.