Chapter 4: Letters, Lies, and Longing

After Ben’s illness, the house was chaos. When things finally settled, I got back to my nightly hospital runs to flirt with Chris.

Little by little, he started to open up. Familiarity breeds affection, right? Encouraged, I doubled down.

Just as things were looking up, disaster struck—Chris got sent to the eastern counties to inspect clinics.

I was heartsick, sulking in the corner every day.

While I moped, David pulled me up. “Chris is a refined gentleman. Why not use this time to settle down, learn to brew coffee, organize files, and become the perfect companion?”

He was speaking from experience. I took his advice. “How exactly?”

“I’ll teach you.”

So I started practicing on David.

He often called me to his study. I brewed coffee and sorted files while he worked through his stack.

Now that he’s running the countywide civil-service exams and pushing for anonymous grading, it’s a dangerous, thankless job—but crucial for regular folks to get ahead. The old guard is furious.

All that stress left him with no time to eat unless I made a scene.

One crisp autumn night, wind howling outside, I rolled up my sleeves to organize his files. Papers piled high, David frowning as he scribbled notes.

After washing my hands, I brewed a cup of fresh coffee. He took it, sipping without really noticing.

I leaned by the window, watching the bright moon, wondering if Chris had reached the eastern counties yet.

Suddenly, David waved a hand in front of my face. I snapped out of it. He set down his pen and pulled up a stool for me.

“If you’re bored, I’ll teach you chess.”

“Aren’t you busy?”

“It’s fine.”

I’d never been good at these fancy arts, but somehow, I picked them up fast now.

After three games, I only lost the last one by a few pieces. Not bad. I went to look for the coffeepot, feeling pretty pleased with myself. “I’m thirsty.”

David pushed his half-finished mug my way. I picked it up, hesitated.

We both froze.

He recovered first, took the mug back, poured a fresh one, and handed it to me, a little regret in his eyes. “Sorry.”

Back in my room, I tossed and turned, wide awake. I pictured him and my sister, spending nights just like this when they were young.

My stand-in radar was blaring: he’s trying to shape me into my sister’s image. Getting this close to him was like playing with fire.

I started sleeping late and waking early, wandering the halls before sunrise.

One morning, I saw his study light still on before dawn. His thin silhouette was sharp behind the frosted glass, back straight, working nonstop.

A few days later, I got Chris’s clinic address from one of his coworkers—well, I paid for it. I started sending letters to my beloved. By my count, he should have arrived.

All the money I spent on info and postage came from David’s allowance. I wondered how he’d feel about me using his cash to chase another man.

As I was hanging up a fresh letter to dry, I saw Dr. Parker hurrying out with his medical bag.

Half a month later, Chris actually wrote back. Not a real letter—just a note, four words: ‘All is well, don’t worry.’ Not even a period.

I was both thrilled and annoyed.

Chris and David—two men of few words. If they ever ended up together, I’d have to toast them from afar.

I wrote more letters to Chris. A month later, I got his second reply—this time, eight words: ‘Work unfinished, return date uncertain.’

Didn’t matter that my own letters were long and sappy. My heart still fluttered.

Later, I spotted Dr. Parker at the house a few more times.

It hit me: if David could bring half the county hospital here, he could easily have Chris sent to the eastern counties.

After our last awkward run-in, I hadn’t set foot in David’s study for a while. This time, fired up, I decided to get to the bottom of it.

David, busy as always, came home at dusk in his red tie and white shirt. When he saw me waiting, his eyes brightened. “Have you eaten?”

I shook my head. In the lamplight, the fatigue in his face was obvious, and my accusations died on my lips.

He’d always been slim, but now he seemed even thinner, his clothes hanging off him.

I realized all those doctor visits lately were probably for his health—and I’d never even noticed.

Over dinner, I asked, “I’ve seen Dr. Parker around a lot. Are you sick?”

“It’s nothing.” He paused. “Chris’s trip to the eastern counties had nothing to do with me.”

Oh, busted. “How’d you know?”

“You don’t show up for nothing.”

Exactly—like a raccoon at a chicken coop.