I’m Not Her: Loving in Shadow / Chapter 3: Illness and Inheritance
I’m Not Her: Loving in Shadow

I’m Not Her: Loving in Shadow

Author: Douglas Adams


Chapter 3: Illness and Inheritance

David’s illness dragged on for over two weeks. Since it was my fault, I stayed by his side, playing the perfect daughter.

One day, he fell asleep with a low fever, breathing steady. I lowered the curtains, turned out the lamp, and was about to leave when he suddenly spoke up.

“Ben, where’s your little sister?”

His voice was anxious, sweat beading on his forehead, hand grasping at the air—caught in a nightmare.

I patted his shoulder. “David?”

He slowly woke, eyes finding mine, still unfocused. “Maggie?”

“Mm.”

“Go get some rest.”

“What were you dreaming about?”

He hesitated. “I’m already in my thirties. Looking back, I’ve failed both as a husband and a father.”

He’s always been reserved, but this was the first time he opened up to me. He could hide his feelings in the dark, but the knots in his heart were like a moon surfacing from behind clouds.

Ben—yeah, Ben Whitlock—is David’s son. My sister’s, too. He’s four, with those same amber eyes as his dad. Ben took to me right away, smart and lively, and we’re pretty close.

David, in his thirties, already a Deputy County Clerk, comes from a fancy, spotless family, with a house, a car, and no surviving parents. Around here, he’s the top catch on the marriage market.

The kicker? Except for work, he always has Ben with him. That little guy isn’t a hassle at all—he’s so attached to his dad that in front of all the aunts, he makes David sound like a saint.

Pretty soon, all of Maple Heights knew: Deputy Clerk Whitlock wasn’t just a stand-up guy—he was the model single dad, doing everything for his kid.

One day, after another failed attempt at flirting with a doctor, I spotted the local matchmaker, Mrs. Sun, leaving the house, looking totally defeated.

Never one to skip gossip, I asked, “Trying to find a new mom for Ben?”

He looked at me like I’d hit a nerve, eyes sharp. “Ben has a mother.”

I shrank back, deciding not to push. Fine by me—if he remarried, I’d be out of a free ride.

After that, no more matchmakers showed up. I wondered why all the local ladies vanished. David, calmly reviewing files, told me, “I spread the word that I was injured down south and can’t have kids.”

My eyes went wide. Mr. Whitlock, saying he’s… not functional? For real?

He caught my look, his ears turning red. “Just for some peace and quiet. Just until things calm down.”

A hint of pride crept in. “A man’s worth isn’t just that. I don’t care what people say.”

Thinking of Ben, I remembered how, in his fevered dreams, David had asked, “Ben, where’s your little sister?”

Ben’s an only child, lost his mom at two, and has no sister. Clearly, David was out of it.

He and my sister spent eight years down south. Ben was born in the sixth year.

During those years, David started as a high school teacher, then became county administrator. Outwardly, he kept out of local politics, but really, he was a major player in the reform movement, using his father’s reputation to recruit talent and plot strategy.

When Ben was two, David brought his family back to Maple Heights. The reformers shook things up, the old mayor stepped down, and David helped the movement weaken the old guard, creating a new balance.

Once the reformer became mayor, he prosecuted my father, Judge Mason—David’s father-in-law and the man who’d gotten his own father killed.

My dad had been powerful for years, but far from clean—evidence of bribery and corruption everywhere.

He took his own life, my mom died of heartbreak, and months later, my sister passed away too.

My sister was smart. After eight years down south, how could she not know her husband’s ambitions would doom the Mason family?

David loved her deeply—how could he not know her heart was always with her parents?

I still can’t figure out if they were doomed lovers, enemies, or truly devoted. Who knows what they felt as they drifted through years of Whitlock and Mason family feuds.

David’s love for my sister seems real. But what about her feelings for him?

Just thinking about it makes my head spin, so I try not to.

When the Mason family was purged, my parents locked me up.

Terrified, I drifted in and out for months. When I finally woke, my parents and sister were gone—only I was left.

I called David ‘brother-in-law,’ and he looked at me like I was a ghost—almost grabbed a chair to throw at me.

After that, no one mentioned my sister again, like Amanda never existed. Naturally, I couldn’t call him brother-in-law anymore—he made me use his name.

Two years have passed, and even now, his eyes are always hard to read—sometimes gentle, sometimes like he’s seen a ghost.

After all, I look like my sister, but I’m not her.

Once David was better, I planned to get back to chasing Chris.

But before I could, Ben got seriously sick.

David dropped all his usual calm, pulled every string he had—rushed to City Hall at night and had half the county hospital on call at the house.

Chris included.

Chris, brewing medicine and running IVs, looked even more attractive. But with Ben burning with fever, barely hanging on, I had no energy for flirting.

Three days in, Ben was too weak to cry, pale as paper. David, sleepless and desperate, held him and sang lullabies until he finally slept.

He laid Ben down gently, tucked him in, and went to see the doctors.

Seeing his anxious face, the doctors hesitated, until the oldest, Dr. Parker, cleared his throat. “Mr. Whitlock, it’s time to prepare yourself.”

David crushed his porcelain mug in his hand, blood dripping onto the table.

Dr. Parker tried to offer comfort. “You’re still young, sir.”

Translation: you’ll have wives and kids in the future.

David shook his head, looking drained. He didn’t say it, but I knew.

There wouldn’t be any more.

The doctors traded looks and left, leaving Chris to treat his hand. Chris picked shards of porcelain from his palm—just watching made my own hand ache. David didn’t even flinch, lost in his own world.

Chris left with his medical bag. David snapped back, glanced at me. “If you want to see him, go ahead.”

I shook my head. “Does it hurt?”

He shook his head, then nodded, answering a different question. “What am I supposed to do?”

I stayed quiet. His longing for my sister and his love for Ben cut deep. With my sister gone, Ben’s his last link to her.

He stared at his injured hand, red seeping through the cloth. “Ben’s mom loved him so much. I failed her.”

“I’m useless. I couldn’t protect them.”

His face was blank, but the despair in his eyes made me shiver.

I recognized that look, but couldn’t remember where I’d seen it before.

He looked like he’d given up.

I felt sad, but not destroyed—not like David. Still, for some reason, tears just started falling.

The universe must’ve cut us a break—within a month, Ben made a miracle recovery.

David was over the moon, emptied the Whitlock family’s savings, and donated everything to the county hospital.

Truth is, the Whitlocks weren’t rich. Even as Deputy County Clerk, David lived simple. He was a capable official, but a solitary one. A loner, really.

Born into privilege, but carrying his father’s mission to help the working class. Both sides wanted him, but nobody trusted him. The mayor valued him because he had no deep ties—meaning he was needed but always on thin ice, surviving thanks to official protection.

I learned all this while helping David with paperwork.

Why was I doing that? To get closer to Chris, obviously.

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