Chapter 6: A New Desk Partner

For a long time, there was no contact at all between Jason and me.

We became strangers sharing the same air. He’d laugh with his friends, and I’d pretend not to notice. It was safer that way.

I gradually got used to not having a desk partner, burying myself in my studies alone.

I’d bring extra pens, stack my books high, make myself a wall no one could climb. The empty seat beside me became a shield.

There was less than a year left before the SATs.

The pressure was on. Everyone was talking college—who was applying where, who’d gotten a tutor. It was easy to fade into the background when everyone was stressed.

In that practice exam, I scored a 149 in English. For the first time, I surpassed the study committee member.

My hands shook as I looked at the score—one point better than him. I grinned for the first time in weeks.

As soon as class ended, he moved his desk over and became my new desk partner.

The screech of metal legs made me look up. He flashed a crooked smile, sliding his chair next to mine.

Seeing my surprised look, he snorted and laughed. "Ms. Parker said my essay is terrible and told me to learn from you. New desk buddy, please look after me."

He waggled his eyebrows, mock-serious. The way he said it, it almost sounded like an honor.

It took me several seconds to react—I had a desk partner again. I felt a little happy.

I blinked, then grinned, feeling lighter than I had in a while. For a moment, I forgot about everything else.

So I couldn't wait to share my notebook full of sentence structures and advanced vocabulary with him, pursing my lips into a small smile.

I dug my notebook out, the one with highlighted passages and post-it notes, and slid it over. My cheeks felt warm.

"Here, take a look. I just memorized these."

He took the notebook, flipping through the pages with genuine interest. “Wow, you really went all out with these notes.”

"Thanks."

He gave me a fist bump under the desk, like we were teammates or something. For once, it didn’t feel awkward.

I looked up by chance—unexpectedly, I met Jason's indifferent gaze from across the room. He seemed to have been watching for a while.

His eyes locked on mine, cold and unreadable. It felt like he was seeing me for the first time in months—or maybe not seeing me at all.

Jason was the first to look away, a mocking smile curling at the corner of his lips.

He turned back to Madison, his lips twisting in a way that made my stomach drop.

I didn't know my confession had disgusted him so much. So much that he didn't even want to see me happy.

I stared down at my notebook, trying to scrub the thought from my mind. But it stuck like gum to the bottom of my shoe.