Chapter 3: Seven Years Of Mr. Endurance

Nobody really notice.

All the music, all the laugh, people just dey carry on. Only me and my own wahala dey for inside my head. The world just dey waka as if nothing happen.

Everybody know how much I love Ngozi.

For my side, people dey yarn anyhow, dey hail my patience. Some dey toast their drink to our love, no know say my heart dey bleed.

Seven years I dey her side, I wait sotay she finally gree for me.

Some say na jazz I use, some say na endurance, but me I know say na true love hold me. No be say I no fit leave, but my mind no gree.

Everybody believe say I suppose endure—wedding dey near, so I no suppose vex for small thing.

As if na so e dey for everybody. Na me suppose dey carry her matter like church offering, dey form Mr. Perfect.

"Na so Ngozi dey do—if she drunk, she dey talk rubbish."

One aunty talk, wave her hand like she dey chase fly. Some people nod, dey agree.

"No blame am. Femi na her 'first love.' How she go forget am quick quick?"

First love dey hard to throway, na true. But still, the pain choke.

"Abeg, e no mean anything. Who never call wrong name before?"

Dem dey talk am as if na play. Me I just dey for one corner, dey wonder if na so marriage go be.

"Tunde, abeg no vex. You know say when Femi run leave am, e pain Ngozi well well. Try understand her."

Dem dey reason am like family matter, dey expect me make I swallow the shame. Even small boy for corner dey look me, dey wonder why my face strong.

"Abi, wedding dey ground. No use small thing spoil your mind."

"Make una calm down. She just call wrong name. Tunde love Ngozi pass himself—he no fit vex."

All these words dey fly round my head like mosquitoes. Everybody dey advise, nobody ask how I dey.

My classmates dey talk anyhow, nobody send how I dey feel.

I see some of my old padi, dem just dey toast drink, dey laugh, dey gist about old times. For their mind, na small thing. For my mind, e big pass Third Mainland Bridge.

Suddenly, everything just tire me.

The air choke, my eyes dey burn. I just wan make everywhere quiet. My heart dey heavy, my mouth no fit talk.

Inside me, I dey beg God, make this pain no kill my spirit.

When we start, she still dey think of Femi Adeyemi. I believe say na just heartbreak, so I decide to manage am, to wait.

The patience wey I think say na strength begin look like foolishness for my eye. I dey reason say maybe na me dey deceive myself all along.

But...

Seven years later, she still dey do the same thing.

E pain me say after all the years, nothing really change. My hope just dey vanish, small small.

Even my patience don turn to joke for my classmates mouth.

People dey use me catch cruise, dey hail me as 'Mr. Endurance.' My pride don turn to market gist.

If na so, wetin remain for marriage?

I begin dey ask myself: If today na rehearsal, how the real show go be? Na so I go dey swallow pain, dey form strong man?

I look Ngozi face, she dey sleep, I no talk, I no vex—I just pour myself drink, swallow am like punishment, then waka commot.

As I carry the drink, e bitter pass normal. My mind dey far, I no even greet people wey hail me for door.

"Ah ah, Tunde, where you dey go?"

One guy voice chase me as I dey reach corridor. I no look back, just wave hand.

"House."

I talk am like say na joke, but everybody know say the matter deep.

"House?"

Dem look themselves, then ask again, "But Ngozi nko? You no go carry am?"

Somebody even stand up, dey point her for table. Dem dey expect say I go play the perfect boyfriend again.

I just smile small. "I no be her papa. I no fit dey carry her matter for head every time."

My voice calm, but my mind dey bleed. I waka enter corridor, heart heavy like generator wey no gree start. For my mind, I know say something don break wey glue no fit fix.