Chapter 2: Symbols and Secrets

My name na Ijeoma Anulika, but everybody dey call me Ijeoma or Ijay.

Since I small, I know say I different from other children. Sometimes, e be like say I dey waka for two world—one wey everybody dey see, and another one wey dey shine symbols just for my own eye.

I dey always see plenty strange symbols dey float for my eye. I think say na so e dey for everybody, until I point am give my mama, she just look me, confused.

She ask, "Baby, wetin you dey talk?"

Na that time I know say na only me dey see those rolling, packed symbols. E shock me small that day, but I no fit explain the thing reach, so I just keep am inside.

After some time, I just get used to am. E no too mean anything. Like when mosquito dey buzz for night—you go just ignore am if e no dey bite you.

Until I begin learn how to read.

Those rolling symbols come dey look familiar. Sometimes e go flash, sometimes e go just slow down like say na person dey type am live.

I sharp pass other children—Mama notice am early, so she begin teach me book and maths before others. Mama always say, "My pikin head dey hot!" She go use her soft palm rub my head, proud.

By the time I reach four years, I come finally understand those strange symbols. Dem call am [barrage comments]—like those comments wey dey fly for video.

[The woman wey dey struggle still dey hustle, staying up late to find money for her pikin, she no even know say sickness don dey her body. If she still delay, this pikin go soon lose her mama. Na real wahala.]

[If only the man and woman just talk true, this run-away-with-child wahala for no even start.]

[See this poor pikin, lost her mama at six, the man no even know say the woman don die, or say she born pikin for am, just dey old dey go.]

[The worst part be say our little Ijeoma, get rich papa but still land for children’s home...]

Female lead—like the main person for Mama Nollywood film?

I no too understand, so I scratch my head with my fat hand. My braids shake, beads knock each other, but e no bring answer come.

That day, Mama come back from work, face no too bright.

"Ijay, in two days Mama go travel for work go another town. You go stay for Aunty Sade place? She go carry you go school."

The barrage comments pop up again.

[I no fit watch again. If the woman go hospital now, dem fit cure am for early stage.]

[This business trip na the last chance for both of them to meet, but dem go just miss each other. My eye dey red.]

[Anulika, abeg go hospital treat yourself, forget that useless job, sob sob.]

[Little Ijeoma too good, she dey pity her mama wey dey suffer, she no even know say her real papa dey rich.]

[Sob sob, when dem finally check, na late stage cancer. The woman no gree treat herself so she fit leave money for her pikin. Heartbreak, tears don finish...]

[……]

I freeze.

Anulika, na my mama name.

Na my mama dey sick?

I look my mama sharp sharp. She still fine and gentle, but e be like say she don thin, and she no dey chop well again. The way she dey walk these days, e be like person wey dey carry heavy load for mind.

Na so sickness dey show?

Mama voice come again: "Baby, why you dey look space again? Mama dey talk to you. You go stay for Aunty Sade house?"

"No." I just talk am.

My voice small but stubborn, like stone inside wrapper.