Chapter 1: Boundaries and Betrayals

I could always find my shadow in a crowd, even when my dad’s voice drowned out everything else at the county fair. As a kid, my sense of place was as solid as the chalk lines on our driveway—drawn by the blunt truths of my family, my mom’s gentle expectations, and my dad’s unbreakable rules about everything he owned, especially me.

But after one accident, I ended up pregnant with his child. The world spun out, but I couldn’t tell anyone—not with my dad watching every move.

I tried to hint at it, asking him, “If you ever had a kid out of wedlock, what would you do?”

He shot back, “I never would.”

He said it so fast, so certain—like he could stop a train just by glaring at it. The air in the room went tight, brittle.

“But what if you did?”

He pinched my cheek, his eyes cold. “I’d make sure neither of you were ever seen again. Honey, I don’t do ‘what ifs.’”

His fingers lingered on my face, almost gentle, but his words landed like a bucket of ice water. My skin prickled, and I felt twelve years old again, wishing I could shrink into the wallpaper. I blinked, hard, vision blurring. I realized I’d have to handle this myself—no one could ever know.

The next day, Derek was scrolling through my phone, his face dark and unreadable.

He pinched my chin, his voice terrifyingly soft: “Tell me, what does this abortion appointment mean?”

“You’re pregnant, aren’t you?”