Chapter 3: Decisions and Regrets

**Two.**

We got our scores in late June.

I scored a 1590.

Hmm... I could go to Harvard or MIT.

While I was torn about which to choose, my mom got a call from MIT’s admissions office—at three a.m., no less. She didn’t even wake me, just filled out the acceptance. MIT it was.

Harvard, goodbye.

Of course, I was happy to get into the school I'd always wanted.

But when I thought about the Harvard upperclassman who'd helped me so much, I started to worry.

She always wanted me to go to Harvard, but I chose MIT instead. It felt like I'd let her down.

While I was agonizing over how to reply, she messaged me first.

"You guys got your scores, right? How did you do?"

Such a gentle greeting. My guilt only deepened.

I steeled myself, gritted my teeth, and replied:

"I didn't do well. I can't get into Harvard."

"..."

She fell silent.

Before she could reply again, I sent another message:

"I'm sorry. Goodbye."

My chest tightened, the words barely visible through the static in my head. I hit send before I could regret it.

Then, I blocked her and went offline.

My hands were shaking a little as I stared at the screen, the cursor blinking on our last chat. For a second, I thought about undoing it, about writing a real explanation, but the words wouldn't come. I shut my laptop with a dull snap, lay back on my bed, and listened to the muffled sounds of summer cicadas outside, wondering if I'd just made the biggest mistake of my life.