Chapter 1: The Ring That Broke Abuja

One photo just scatter the whole Abuja entertainment scene overnight: the reigning young oga for Abuja showbiz circle, waist decorated with one big hibiscus tattoo, and a hand—definitely a babe hand, with red nail polish—just dey press for him strong abs. The pink diamond ring for the hand dey shine like say na only Dangote fit buy am. The fingers point straight for the middle of the hibiscus—omo, the picture too hot.

Na wah! As the photo drop, even old men for beer parlour dey argue whether na original or photoshop. Dem dey shout, "Abeg, no be our time be this! In our days, who born you?" Market women for Wuse dey show each other the picture for WhatsApp, their wrappers tight, groundnut shells for hand, dey talk say this generation no dey hide anything again. Some girls for Instagram dey use the pic flex, dey hail the ring as the latest pepper dem. People begin drop gist, dey form expert, dey analyze the meaning of the tattoo. As for the pink diamond, e be like say na only politicians or foreign big girls dey fit buy am before—now, Abuja just dey hot.

That night, one up-and-coming actress post picture of a ring—exactly the same pink diamond ring wey dem see for that abs picture.

As e hit social media, everywhere choke. Comments begin fly for all the blogs and even for WhatsApp groups. Dem dey compare hand colour, shape, even the nail polish. Na so everybody begin run their own FBI work, dey try connect the dot.

Everywhere burst. People begin congratulate the starlet and the young oga, dey wish them better marriage.

Even old aunties begin dey pray for fruit of the womb for their union, dey add them to church WhatsApp prayer list. People wey never even sabi the girl before begin call her in-law, dey talk say them sabi her from way back. Twitter don almost spoil, as fans dey run meme marathon.

Na only me know the real matter: the babe just dey use the gist catch clout.

If person even tell you say na me be the real hand for that picture, you go reason am like joke. This life ehn, na who sabi spin story dey reign.