Chapter 6: The Color I Thought I Needed

My roommate Tasha couldn’t believe I’d really broken up with Caleb. She cornered me with her questions:

“What if he comes back and begs you to get back together?”

“You’re really okay? You’re not gonna do anything wild, are you?”

“You’re so chill, it’s kind of freaking me out…”

Yeah, why was I so calm about breaking up with Caleb? Even I didn’t expect it. Didn’t I always think I couldn’t live without him?

For him, didn’t I bet everything—even change my major?

I’ve had paint under my nails since middle school. Art’s always been my thing.

Most of the people I hang out with are artsy, free-spirited, a little neurotic—just like me.

But Caleb Brooks? He was like a brand-new tube of paint, a color I’d never seen before.

In art, there’s rarely one right answer. But in Caleb’s world, everything was black and white.

And the answer to the girlfriend question was always the same.

His person had to go to grad school at Lakeview University with him, had to work in Silver Hollow with him.

Lakeview, the Ivy League of the Midwest, didn’t even have an art program. Silver Hollow was a sleepy tech town, not a place for dreamers.

To go to Lakeview with Caleb, I changed my major.

I ignored my professors and classmates, put down my brushes, gave up a shot at study abroad, and spent all my time cramming for courses I hated.

A friend once asked, “Don’t you love painting? You’re just giving that up for a guy?”

Rationally, he was right.

But I’m not always rational. My artist brain just wanted to be with Caleb.

For him, I’d do anything.

Tasha called me love-crazy, said I’d lost my mind, that I’d never snap out of it.

But when did I finally wake up? Maybe it wasn’t some big catastrophe. Maybe it just took a birthday, a cold shoulder, and the realization that the color I thought I needed was all wrong for my canvas.