Chapter 9: The Other Side

When I came to, I was in the hospital, white lights glaring above. A cop handed me my shattered phone, said I’d dragged myself up the hill, flagged down a passing car, gotten to the ER just in time. I remembered none of it.

The doctor said my wound was a miracle. If I hadn’t made it, I would’ve bled out. I didn’t care.

When the questions ended and the room emptied, I checked my phone. No missed calls from Marcus. The calls I made for help—lost, ignored, gone.

But for once, I felt nothing. The nurse’s voice was gentle, but it bounced off me like rain on a windshield. Maybe dying once had burned away all the pain. I was outside my own story, watching my relationship with Marcus from the bleachers. There was only suffocation left, no more heartbreak. I wasn’t sad for losing him—I was sad for the girl I used to be.

I felt sorry for her—me, before the sickness, before my parents died, before I’d gotten locked in a mutual prison with Marcus. I’d loved freely once. Getting sick wasn’t my fault. And my illness wasn’t a pass for Marcus and Aubrey to get close, to betray me. He could have divorced me, but he chose to cheat instead.

Rachel, didn’t you always wonder how you’d live without Marcus, without all this pain?

Watch closely, I told myself. Without these chains, you can be happy. You can be a little sun, or a black hole. But you’ll never be anyone’s burden again.