Chapter 3: Confessions and WhatsApp Drama

I see as im eyebrow twitch.

That small twitch mean say e dey reason my offer. E no too trust me, but e dey curious.

"You sure say you know wetin you dey talk?"

Na serious matter. I gats explain am well, make e no think say I dey do anyhow.

No wonder Little Uncle dey shake. With that big massage head wey dey vibrate under wrapper, e get as e be o.

If na person no use am before, e fit fear. The thing dey powerful, sometimes e dey shock person body.

I sharply switch am to gentle mode.

As I press the button, the vibration reduce, make am friendly. I no wan scare am.

Hold my right hand tight, I press the gun for my palm as I explain,

I fit feel the vibration, e dey run my finger reach my elbow. As I press am, my voice calm, I dey try act like teacher.

"E be like person dey touch you, just the thing dey overdo small."

I explain reach where my mouth fit, I no wan make e get wrong idea. The enjoyment too much sometimes.

"E go deep, make body relax well-well—better pass if person dey do am."

I talk am, nod head. True true, this one pass hand massage.

Little Uncle face squeeze, voice come low pass before.

E dey reason am, e voice come gentle like say e dey fear make dem hear us.

"So you don try person before?"

Na wah o, see question. I for laugh, but I respect myself.

"No na."

I shake head, voice innocent, like person wey never chop meat for party before.

As I see am dey rub im head, guilt just enter my body.

See as e dey look tired, e face show say stress full am. I reason say, I suppose dey help am more.

Since e carry me come house, na so so work e dey do, waka early, come back late.

Sometimes, I dey pity am. The way e dey rush out every morning, come back when light don nearly finish, e dey pain me.

No wonder e never try new things.

E just dey do like old school people wey no sabi enjoyment.

I gats make am happy. I roll up my sleeve, hug im leg.

I hold im leg tight, like pikin wey dey beg for sweet. My heart dey soft for am.

"Little Uncle, no fear. Make I first use my hand do am for you, you go like am."

I dey smile, dey press im calf muscle. I wan show am say massage fit sweet pass the wahala for work.

Omo, im muscle strong no be small.

I press am, e strong like stone. I even dey wonder if na all these uncle dey carry cement for dream.

I use the chance touch am well, rest my head for im leg, dey enjoy.

I just dey feel comfort, the way im cloth dey smell fresh, my body calm.

Totally worth am.

No regret at all. I for even dey do am for free, if na so life go soft.

Suddenly, I feel like say I dey watch Nollywood love film wey the main guy finally show im real face.

The way the scene set, na so my head dey play soundtrack. All those romantic music for background, as if camera dey pan left and right.

If na me be heroine, I go fall for am too.

Omo, with this kind caring uncle, who no go fall? The way e dey act, e dey sweet pass film.

But before I fit reach im abs finish, na so e carry me up like small pikin.

Sharp sharp, I no even expect am. My body just fly for air, e strong no be here.

"Ijeoma."

E call my name with voice wey get weight. I freeze.

Fear catch me.

That fear no be small. My eye wide, heart dey beat. Wetin I do again?

Na that time, the small note wey me and my bestie pass for class fall from my pocket.

My chest tight—if this note leak, na PTA meeting straight.

The note land for ground, my mind dey race.

Our chat logs—if dem see am, wahala dey!

If dem catch our coded gist, na suspension sure.

"No look!"

I rush try collect am, but e pass me. I dey panic.

But before I fit grab am, im don already open am with those long fingers.

Those fingers long reach, e quick pass me. My heart dey cut.

Bestie: "You dey lose focus?"

Me: "I wan kiss my husband, abeg free me."

See as shame wan finish me. I no even fit explain the gist, e go think say I dey do big girl runz.

No be real husband o—na just my idol, na fangirl I be.

True true, na all those fine boys for Korean film I dey crush on, not even local musician sef.

But if I talk am, Little Uncle wey dey old school go vex pass.

I reason am well. E fit call family meeting if I talk true.

As I no talk, e just lose guard.

E just dey look me, e face dey change. I dey fear.

"You get... boyfriend?"

Im voice crack, like person wey swallow stone. Na first time I hear am so weak.

Na first time I hear im voice cold reach like say e dey shake.

The cold for im voice, e reach my bone. I shiver.

"Na because of am you buy that thing?"

E dey look me, eyes red. I dey panic, I no fit lie.

Im eyes dark like midnight, like say star fit fall any moment.

If to say na story book, na that time thunder for strike.

Well, na true say my idol dey do advert for the fascia gun.

At least, I no lie. Na advert make me buy am, no be any boyfriend.

So technically... I no dey lie.

I dey try convince myself say I no do bad thing. After all, everybody get celebrity crush.

So I brace myself, nod.

I gats face am, even if fear dey my eye. I nod, dey ready for anything.

Im breathing heavy, e squeeze the note, throw am for ground, hand dey shake.

E face no dey normal again. I fit see say wahala dey im mind. The way e squeeze paper, e fit tear am.

"When you dey use am, na him you dey think about?"

Na deep question. I dey reason whether I fit talk truth. No be lie, sometimes I dey imagine all those fine boys for TV.

Kind of. If my idol dey do advert, the thing go make sense.

Na small truth, but I still nod. No wahala, I gats stand by my gist.

So I nod again.

Na so I just close eye, dey wait for judgement.

"Abeg, avoid am."

Im voice low, but strong. E pain am, I see am for im eye.

E talk am like say e dey bite teeth.

E dey struggle to hold im anger. My body dey shake.

"And no let me see that kind thing for house again."

The order strong. I fit see say e no wan make I continue. My heart break small.

Why e no wan make I use fascia gun again?

I dey reason, e pain me. E no even try ask why my leg dey pain.

Tears wan drop from my eye.

I dey try hold back tears, make I no look weak. But the pain no be here.

"But... if body dey pain me nko?"

I try beg am, voice soft. E fit see say I dey suffer.

E take deep breath, voice just soft.

Na that breath heavy. E dey try calm down, but e voice gentle.

"You like am reach that level?"

E dey ask like say e wan know if I go fight for the thing. I nod, no fit talk.

I nod, bite my lip, give am that my beg-beg look—like pikin wey dey find meat from pot.

"Or... you fit help me?"

I reason say, if e tire to dey massage me, maybe e go allow me keep the massager.

If e gree help, I fit still dey enjoy my relief. I just dey hope.

Im eyes dark like say ink wan pour.

The tension dey heavy, like say rain wan fall. I fit see say e dey think plenty things.

"Abeg?"

I soft my voice, add small pout. Anything to win this case.

I pout, hand enter under nightdress dey rub my leg wey dey pain me.

The pain for my thigh still dey, so I rub am, dey act like victim.

I run five laps before class, then dem punish me with five more for talking during lesson.

I just dey count my suffering for today. E too much for one person.

Which fine girl fit run four kilometers for one day?

I dey ask myself, abeg! I no be athlete o.

E grit im teeth, press my hand down: "No move."

E use im strong hand press my own. E no wan make I dey act stubborn.

Then, e sigh long, close im eye:

E take one long sigh, like person wey dey sign contract. Na im I know say e don give up small.

"Go baff first. I go wait you downstairs."

Omo, correct! I win small. I rush stand up, dey happy.

Correct!

I jump small for bed before I remember say e dey look. E pain me, but I gats act normal.

This kind chance no dey come everyday—I gats enjoy am well.

Na rare opportunity. I no fit dull, I wan use the moment well. I fit even brag give bestie later.

So I turn the sofa to full bed, cast my favorite Nollywood drama for projector.

I dey arrange parlour, set pillow, bring out throw blanket. As I click projector, the blue light fill the room, my favorite actors dey show.

Just dey wait for Little Uncle to show.

I dey tap my leg, dey check phone, dey hope say e no go change im mind last minute.

As I dey scroll phone, one new local post just pop up.

I dey browse, dey check WhatsApp, na im I see one trending gist for our school group.

[The girl wey I like get boyfriend but still dey ask me make I sleep over. Wetin I go do?]

I stop, laugh small. This world no balance. I wan see the replies.

Who be this correct babe—real ride or die?

Na only babe wey get mind fit pull this stunt. I dey hail am.

I sharply click enter.

I no fit hold curiosity, so I tap inside, wan see the real story.

[The girl wey dey my side for fifteen years confess say she get boyfriend, still dey beg me help am. Wetin I go do?]

Fifteen years ke? Na real wahala. I begin suspect say the matter get as e be.

Fifteen years? E dey familiar.

That kind number no be beans. My mind dey process am.

But e still suspicious small.

I dey check, dey look for clue. This kain gist dey always get twist.

But as gist lover, I no think am too much, I reply:

Na me be chief adviser for group, so I drop my own take sharp-sharp, add small “😂😂” for back.

[She like you die. If no be so, she for don leave you since ten years.]

I dey yarn true. Na only love fit keep person dey wait like that.

The guy, username [Heartbroken Big Dog], dey really pain.

I fit feel the pain inside im reply, the way e dey rush answer.

E reply quick-quick—e mean say e dey glue for phone.

E no let chat cool, e just dey reply me. E pain reach bone.

[But she dey run from me, like say I dey scare am.]

I laugh small. E be like some people wey I know.

I just remember as Little Uncle dey seize my novels, and how e go show if I late pass curfew by one minute.

I dey remember how Little Uncle dey act sometimes, strict no be small. Na so wahala dey start.

I shiver, type fast:

The way I shiver, e fit be say na me e dey talk about o. But I no wan reason am.

[Maybe you too strict for her?]

Sometimes, na true. Strict uncle fit turn bestie to enemy.

[Na small age senior I senior her, but I dey control am pass.]

E just like my own situation. The way e talk, e pain am.

Case closed?

I just drop the matter, e be like say e don clear for am.

I still try console am:

I no wan make person dey sad, so I add my own touch.

[She like you, no fear. Maybe the boyfriend na cover. Try test her—she go show herself.]

I give am hope, as good adviser.

I off screen, pride just full my chest.

Correct adviser! I feel like celebrity therapist.

Correct, I don help another confused person.

I dey pat myself for back, dey proud.

But somehow, Little Uncle image just dey my mind, no gree commot.

As I drop phone, I dey reason say all these advice na my own matter I dey solve.

E dey control me, sometimes e dey do pass himself.

Na so e dey act—sometimes e go do like lion, sometimes e go calm like dove. E dey scatter my head.

But... deep down, I know say I no fit do without this "wahala".

Na real matter. The wahala dey sweet me, no lie.

True true, e dey sweet me say e dey jealous, dey care.

The way e dey vex, dey jealous, dey protect me, e dey make my belle sweet.

I cover my face, I know say my mind dey run somehow.

Na real confession. I just dey hope say nobody fit read my mind.

I dey wonder, Little Uncle fit get another side?

Maybe e get soft side wey e dey hide, the kind side wey only me go see one day.

E go show me?

Na question I dey reason, I dey hope.

My face just dey hot.

But as im shadow cover me for sofa, I know say this night get as e be.