Chapter 5: Abroad No Fit Heal Heartbreak

I tell my papa and mama say I dey travel. Dem don plan make I study abroad before, but e shock dem say na now. Papa dey always send money, so after one year abroad, I return the fifty million back to the account.

The money dey shine for my phone app, but e dey heavy for my hand. I just dey pray make God forgive me for the heartbreak.

Fifty million fit mean nothing to Seyi family. Maybe even if millions just enter account, dem no go notice. Madam Funmi fit see am but no go talk. Na just make me feel small relief.

For my mind, na only God go judge who pure pass for this matter.

At least the love that time pure small, even if I dey deceive myself.

I dey always tell myself say I no use Seyi play. Even the lie pain me pass.

When I first reach abroad, calls about Seyi still dey come, especially from Senior Musa. He beg me to come back, say Seyi dey bad shape, dey lose himself, but I no fit go back, I no even fit explain why.

The voice note from Musa full of worry: "Morayo, abeg, come see Seyi, na only you fit bring am back." I just dey read, dey wipe tears for midnight.

I no delete or block dem, I just dey spy Seyi life through their gist. Small small, the messages stop, me and Seyi just vanish from each other world.

The silence heavy. Na so I begin dey learn how to forget, even though my heart dey stubborn.

Since I know the story, I dey connect to the other side.

My mind dey play scene, dey imagine how Seyi dey move on. I dey act as director for my own heartbreak.

By now, Seyi suppose don meet the female lead.

Na so the script go. Female lead go enter, Seyi go notice her, the world go move on without me.

By now, Seyi suppose don change how he see the female lead.

E go dey struggle, dey compare her to me, but last last e go fall.

By now, Seyi suppose don carry female lead enter im life, introduce her to our old friends…

I dey imagine all my old friends dey gist about new babe, dey say, "She resemble Morayo, but e no reach." Na so life be sometimes.

Seyi, see as I sef dey pity myself.

I dey form hard babe, but sometimes, I go dey cry for pillow. My mind dey go back to old days.

I try start new life, as system talk. For my third year abroad, I graduate, begin shine for the work wey I like. I get many toasters, but nobody fit reach that level.

Abroad life sweet, but sometimes I dey miss suya, miss Eyo festival, miss Mama Ojo buka for junction. Toasters dey come, but my heart dey fence everywhere.

Sometimes, I dey vex for myself, dey reason how Seyi and female lead dey do love, dey play. Why I go dey form loyal?

My friends for abroad go tease me, "Morayo, your own na die! You no go gree love person again?" I go just smile, dey change topic.

After three years of one law school senior toasting me, I gree date am. The guy na Yoruba-French, fine, get sense, we dey gist well, he get that French romance.

His name na Tunde, but the oyinbo side dey call am Tony. The guy sabi cook, sabi dress, but still, my heart dey elsewhere.

The relationship last just one week. He sad small, me self dey feel guilty.

I no fit force myself love. Na so I call am, explain my mind. He just smile, say he understand.

Maybe I just gree first to prove say I fit start new life. He respect me, and for this open country, we no even kiss that week.

E shock am, but he still respect himself. For his mind, he dey hope say I go heal one day.

He say he understand as Naija girls dey reserve, and know maybe na because he worry me I gree. He beg me for am, say he go wait till I really love am.

That kind patience rare. I thank am, promise say we go still be friends.

After that small matter, life balance. My parents still busy, na only mama dey visit me once a year. But as long as dem dey healthy, no go end bad like for the story, I no ask for more.

The year wey mama visit, she cook egusi soup for my small kitchen. We laugh, dey chop, I dey thank God say family still dey my side.

But as the money for upkeep dey increase every month, I just dey laugh and cry. I tell dem I no need again, my salary dey okay, but every month, big money go still show for my account.

Na so Naija parents dey do. Even if you be managing director, dem go still send you money. Love too much.

Papa go laugh say make I dey chop anyhow, say na for mama and me he dey work.

I dey always pray for am. Na only God dey bless papa wey dey hustle for im family.