Chapter 8: The Final Reckoning

8

Half asleep, half awake, I opened my eyes—it was already afternoon.

The ceiling fan spun lazily above me. I checked my phone. After the call, Lillian hadn’t sent any messages. No concern, no questioning, no blame or curses.

Instead, Natalie had sent many, all night long. The last one: “I want to see you.”

I sent her my home address. In less than half an hour, Natalie arrived.

She arrived with the urgency of someone who couldn’t wait—still in her boots, hair unbrushed, face open and unguarded. We embraced at the door like an old married couple. I handed her slippers; she hugged my neck. I made her coffee; she made me dinner. I carried her into the bedroom; she closed her eyes automatically.

Under the wedding photo of me and Lillian, on our marriage bed, Natalie and I lay naked together, unrestrained, shouting and tearing at each other, treating each other as the only one in the world.

I could feel the burn of old habits breaking as I rolled over, cigarette in hand. The bedroom door opened; Lillian stood at the door, expressionless.

Her face was calm, almost blank, but her eyes flickered. The moment I saw her, I felt no fear, only relief, as if a thousand-pound burden had been lifted from my shoulders.

I provocatively hugged Natalie tighter, lit a cigarette and took a deep drag, blowing smoke at Lillian.

She never allowed me to smoke in the bedroom, especially not on the bed. I locked eyes with her, daring her to yell, to cry, to do anything but stand there so damn calm.

Lillian stood for a while, then left the house.

The front door closed softly. Natalie was frightened; she clutched the blanket tightly and said, “I like you. I don’t care that you have a family, but I’m a little scared.”

I kissed her on the forehead, got out of bed, and packed my things.

I moved into Natalie’s apartment.

I told myself I was free now, but every time I heard the quiet in her place, I wondered what I’d really left behind. No longer bound by marriage or family, I slept with Natalie day and night. I never realized I was such a lustful beast; Natalie joked that just seeing me made her legs weak.

I vented desperately, just waiting for the final moment to come.

A week later, Lillian messaged me, wanting to talk.

I proudly told Natalie and asked if she wanted to come along.

Natalie said I was crazy and should go alone; she wouldn’t walk into that disaster.

But then she hugged my neck, whispered sweetly that no matter what happened with Lillian, she’d support and understand me, telling me not to feel pressured.

She would always love me.

At that moment, I really wanted to ask the universe why I met her so late.